Anything about Everything

  November's challenge was such a success, that I have decided to continue with December prompts.  I am in shock that November is over and the final month of 2021 starts TOMORROW. Time flies - whether you're having fun or not.  I am going to take the December prompts and share just as I have for November, but will focus more on reflection and future casting. I am very much into living a life that is full, and hope to share some tips and tricks I have learned over the years to do just that.  This blog started as, and will always be, a place where anyone can come and find that they are not alone - in whatever they are struggling or working through. I do not put this out there to toot my own horn, or make myself appear superior, or try to take away from the magnitude of the things I have been through in my life. I put this blog out to share awareness on issues that may be a bit taboo to discuss, but also to create a safe space for anyone who needs it.  I have never...

  August 15, 2021. After the tumultuous summer I had the pleasure of suffering through, I finally picked up the keys to my new place. Lease was signed, and boxes started coming in. I had a place to call HOME. No more moving around every 10 or so days. No more life in storage, my car, whoever's home I was staying in, and scattered about the state.  I had my final therapy session with my last therapist (she's not licensed in NH :( I am so sad) and she said something to me that I will never forget.. "When you get your keys, and you're alone, I want you to stand in the middle of the room and celebrate your win. YOU did this." When my landlord left and it was just me in the apartment, I had a SOLID cry. 10 weeks of pent up emotions to just get through it had come bubbling up. I wasn't sad - I was relieved. FINALLY having a mailing address, FINALLY having one place to sleep in without packing it up. I managed to get myself through an incident that doesn't come w...

I learned at a very young age that not everyone is going to like you. Not everyone is going to agree with you. Not everyone is going to support you - even if they say they do.  This isn’t necessarily A person, per say. Over the last 15 years, I have learned the hard lesson I mentioned above. I am grateful for any lessons I’ve learned because I trusted too much, or ignored red flags. I am grateful for this life I’ve made for myself, because of the path it took. I am grateful for anyone from my past that, due to their feelings or actions, forced me to level up. To get out of my comfort zone. To actually DO the work I’d been putting off. To grow into the version of myself I was meant to be. I am grateful for the friends who fell away, whether we just grew apart or had a friendship ending incident. The people who swore they were genuine and turned out to be talking behind my back. Those who swore they would be around forever and decided to disappear.  I am grateful for every perso...

I am weird and random - so this prompt was right up my alley.  Something weird or random that brings me joy would have to be a blue sky without a single cloud. There is something so beautiful about a sunny day without clouds! It always puts me in the best mood. Some other ones? Changing the radio station and a great song just starting. That first sip of iced coffee made perfectly. An empty cafe or coffee shop. Perfectly buttered popcorn at the movies. Crushing 7 workouts in a week.  I am someone who tries to revel in the little things in life and enjoy them. That way, I am enjoying life ALWAYS. Rather than just when I think I need to.  

Food in general brings me comfort.. I often joke about my weight and food - but it really is a comfort for me.  When I'm homesick and miss my family, I pull out a tub of homemade sauce from the freezer and whip up some pasta.  When I don't feel well, its acini de pepe in chicken broth with some parmesan cheese to cure all ailments.  When I'm sad, chocolate chip ice cream helps.. with a side of F.R.I.E.N.D.S. When I'm depressed.. any carb or sweet will help. Bread usually wins this one. When I'm anxious, I usually grab for chips or chocolate. It doesn't help but I feel okay for a second. When boredom strikes, the pantry doesn't stand a chance! I will make do with whatever I can, whenever I can just to pass the time.    I do need to be careful, however. A few years back, I was diagnosed (and when I say diagnosed, I mean medically informed.. I always knew) with a binge eating disorder. It's not the most enjoyable to try and navigate, but when I was in thera...

  The corny answer? Anywhere with Mike.  The less corny answer? The John F. Kennedy Library in Boston. Closely followed by Disney World and my parents' house.  The JFK Library and I have quite the history. When I was a child, I would often spend a week in the summer with my maternal grandparents. Granddaddy volunteered at the Massachusetts Archives on Tuesdays, so the week I stayed with them, I got to go! The Massachusetts Archives is located in the same area of Boston as the JFK Library.  When Granddaddy would take me with him on Tuesdays, he would also be sure to point out the JFK Library. I learned all I needed to (at that age) from him, and one afternoon he took me into the library. A museum with everything in it from JFK's presidency. The first Catholic president happened to be from Boston - how stinking cool! I went back often as an adult. It brought me a sense of peace and happiness. I feel so at home there. I've taken a lot of my friends and family there, and...

  It's fitting that this post falls on Thanksgiving - because when I get a whiff of Dad's homemade stuffing, or Mom's baking this time of year - it makes me THE happiest and smile so big.  Growing up, the night before Thanksgiving was always the night Dad made stuffing (happened last night too.. old habits die hard). While Dad made stuffing, Kyle and I would often catch a magic show that aired every year.. no seriously, the same exact show every year. It's a family recipe, which makes it that much more special.  Whenever Mom baked in big batches, or a lot of options in smaller batches, it meant it was the holidays and family was coming over. Everyone says their mom is the best baker in town, and it's true - we all have the best moms who bake! At Thanksgiving especially, there was usually homemade cinnamon rolls, a few pies, her world famous chocolate chip cookies, chocolate cookies with vanilla chips (negatives, we call them), marshmallow squares, and chocolate coco...

New England has so many good things. One good thing about it here? All 4 seasons.  We have beautiful seasonal changes, and quite a few regional goodies.  Spring time here is always a beautiful reminder that new things, when loved and nurtured, grow and begin a new life.  Summer in New England isn’t as hot and humid as say Florida or Texas, but it does heat up a bit! Longer days give way to more adventures and exploring. Summer nights are always fun, with the sun being up past 3pm LOL.  Fall is my absolute favorite around here. The foliage is gorgeous, but the temperature just makes it perfect. Fall foods are the best in my opinion - apple cider donuts, pumpkin anything (yes I’m basic), and comfort meals start to make a comeback. Oh, and Thanksgiving is the best holiday - again food. Winter around here can get a bit dreary, but watching the snowfall while snuggled up on the couch is a top 5 moment for me. Sure, there’s the holidays season (also a true experience aroun...

  When I was a child, we went to Yorks Animal Kingdom in York, Maine. I don’t remember much about the trip, aside from the fact that my mom and I got to sit on and ride an elephant.  I rode an elephant!  I do remember giggling like a little school girl.. but my love of elephants has been a life long love.  One of my mom’s friends was also an elephant fan, and growing up, I had so many stuffed elephants. I had one that was “life size” to me (I’ve always been short), but he had to live on the porch in the summer.  Babar was one of my favorite cartoons to watch growing up, and I swore his monkey, Zephyr, lived in our backyard.  When I turned 30, I got a tattoo of an elephant on my right wrist, holding a 4 leaf clover, with its trunk facing out. I had it placed this way so share good luck and strength with whoever needs it. 

  As a movie & TV junkie.. this was tough.  I will say that immediately F.R.I.E.N.D.S. and The Vampire Diaries come to mind.. for two different reasons. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. is my comfort show. I’ve seen it a million times, can quote any episode, and often refer to show quotes in regular conversation. I’ve made lifelong friends because of my love of the show, and to be honest.. I would be lost without it. This show has pulled me out of dark bouts of depression more times than I care to count. It makes me laugh even though I’ve seen it a million times. Even though I know what’s coming, it’s still just as funny as the first time.  The Vampire Diaries is a bit different than F.R.I.E.N.D.S. It is a bit more complex in terms of story lines, but the characters are hard not to love. I am a huge history nerd, who likes to dabble in vampire nonsense. The actors were perfectly cast, and it actually brought one of my oldest best friend and I closer. As for a movie.. I would have to sa...

I have always been proud of my hair.  As a child, I was usually one of two red heads in class. My curly afro was usually a wild mane, and up until 7th grade, I wore it au natural. Curly and wild. Once I got up there in middle school, I asked my mom to help me straighten it. That… was a task. If you ask my dad and my brother what it sounded like.. I was often yelling “PULL” or “OW!” But when it was done, it was so long!  When I was in college, I always made sure my hair was perfect. Who knew who I was going to run into, so I had to be sure it looked good! I hardly ever left anywhere without my hair done. Fast forward to adulthood - I have found a system that not only keeps my hair healthy, but it also keeps it low maintenance! (If you’ve been following me for any amount of time, you know I am a big advocate for Monat!) I have seen so much growth and health in my hair since starting these products 3 years ago. Plays right into my pride with my hair. Finding products that not onl...

  Personality trait I'm thankful for... this was a head scratcher. I would have to say my open minded-ness. Does it count as a personality trait? We'll allow it for the purpose of this post.  I am always up for trying something new - especially when it comes to food. I am always open to hearing other sides of stories without judging. I am never one to judge someone for choices they made or opinions they have. And I think that bothers people. See, my view on the world is different. EVERYONE has a differing view on the world. How you handle something traumatic that happens to you is how YOU handle it, not how everyone else should . How I view issues that arise in my life and process them is very different than anyone I know.. including my closest friends. No one on this earth has the same experience as someone else. How we perceive the world is just that - how WE perceive it. Life is the way it is for you because it's how YOU perceive it. Profound if you think about it right?...

Recently, I have learned to just let things go. No sense in holding on to drama or negative energy anymore. In conjunction with this, I have also learned that how someone else reacts to you is a reflection of THEM, not you.  Mind blowing right? Think about it.  Letting things just roll off your back, rather than stewing over them and trying to understand every minuet detail is so much easier. As someone who suffers from (sometimes crippling) anxiety and abandonment issues, I often felt as though I had to understand every detail of why something didn't work out or why it fell apart. I would make myself sick over it, allowing it to consume my every waking moment.  I still have anxious tendencies, and sometimes they are all consuming, but with some deep breaths and a bit of journaling, I get through it.  In terms of how people react to something you do - know this.. everyone is fighting some sort of demon. They are struggling, whether they care to admit it or not. This ...

  I have touched on this in the past - but my proudest accomplishment (aside from surviving this summer) would have to be getting my master's degree. Online. While working 40+ hours a week.  I always wanted to be a high school history teacher. Hell, I student taught when I was in college and loved it. When I was a child, I taught my stuffed animals and sometimes my brother in the basement. Chalkboard and school books baby!  After I took the MTEL (Massachusetts licensing test) three times and came within points of passing each time, I decided to give the testing (and my wallet) a rest. I can take this whenever I want. The only catch there was I had to drop my secondary education minor or stay in college for an extra year.. and the five year plan was not in my personal life plan - so I had to drop it.  Fast forward to a month or so after graduation - and I was looking into post grad programs. I couldn't find a master's program I felt truly connected to.. so I stopped s...

  It's hard to pick just one favorite for me, because this year has been incredible. With the exception of a tree deciding it no longer wanted to be apart from the house I lived in... this year has been wonderful.  As corny as it sounds, my favorite experience from the last 365 days would have to be, it would have to be moving into this apartment. The crew we had helping out that day, my parents surprising me (thank GOD they did!!!). The new chapter for Mike and I. The office/guest room we now have. All great things.  I hate packing. This summer especially. But I LOVE unpacking and throwing things away. I love to organize and decorate new spaces. Being able to do this with Mike has been one hell of a blessing. Seeing him every single day has somehow made me love him more (and some days it's hard... any living situation is tough!).  Getting to go to events TOGETHER in the same car, dinner together (almost) every night.. the little things I never knew I would crave. Th...

  Strength. I'm not talking muscle strength because I love to lift weights. I'm talking mental and emotional strength.  Growing up, I was always the kid who tried to make everyone feel better, who was always willing to do whatever was needed at a moment's notice. I was always trying to make sure everyone else was all set, and felt immense guilt when it came to taking care of myself. I neglected myself for a LONG time, because I wanted everyone to like me so I needed to do whatever they wanted.  When I was struggling through college and my 20s, all I ever wished for was strength to get through whatever new issue came up. Did I fall apart? All the time. But falling apart does not mean you're not a strong person. I cry so often now, and saw it as a flaw. But after some digging - it's just how I express my emotions. Nothing wrong there!  Please remember this. How you respond to a situation and learn from/grow from/heal from a problem/situation is how you become stronger...

  My  favorite season is hands down fall. I love the smell of fall, the flavors of fall… everything but the rain, I’m a fan of.  Living in New England my whole life, I have been blessed with the best version of fall. The foliage we get to experience when the time comes is breathtaking. School starts back up - and as a true nerd, I always loved that.  I am not a fan of hot summer days. So when the temperature changes, I am a happy little panda. Especially because my hair does what i ask it to without question! I am a BIG fan of fall fashion. Give me all the boots and cute sweaters.  When fall arrives, it also means that the holiday season is coming. I know I’ve touched on this before, but the holiday season is SO magical. Fall is the perfect segue into the holiday season - and gives us the chance to let go of whatever we need to let go of and get ready for a fresh start!  What is YOUR favorite season?  

This goes PERFECTLY with what I wrote about yesterday! I am never NOT laughing - if I am being honest.  Lately, Mike and I have been laughing a lot more at little things. We have been so busy lately, that we are exhausted by the end of the day. Most nights we will lay in bed and just laugh. I usually say something stupid, which then spirals into hysterical laughter.  There is nothing better than laughing with him. The last time we laughed really hard was when I found a TikTok where someone mocked how a boyfriend reacts to something his girlfriend does. We now quote it all the time. When was the last time you had a great laugh? A good belly laugh...      

  In terms of emotions - I have a WIDE variety that I cycle through on the daily. In terms of my favorite emotion to feel? Silly is where it's at.  I love to laugh and be silly, I love to make people laugh. I don't take life too seriously - it's not worth it. Living life laughing makes things way more fun! I have been told that I am funny (it's the dark humor brought on by life/trauma) and when I tell you I don't try - I really don't. My boss will be the first person to tell you that I make her choke because of my timing. I can't help it if what I say tickles people as funny!  Is there anything better than laughing so hard no sound comes out? Tears running down your cheeks? Wheezing? I mean really - is there anything better? No, there is NOT. I love to watch other people laugh too. Their laughter is so contagious and infectious - it just makes me feel great. Seeing others happy makes me feel so warm and fuzzy inside. I love seeing joy on others face. This ma...

  Safe to say a strength of mine would be navigating trauma and coming out on the other side in one piece.  Never mind this summer's mess.. there is plenty of healing going on from old traumas.  And fighting these battles alone has proven to me just how strong I am. Not that friends and family aren't supportive, or therapy hasn't been helpful - because they all have been. But I am the one who has to DO the work. DO the healing. Consciously make the changes. That's solely my responsibility.  That's the stuff no one tells you when you're processing the hard stuff - YOU have to want to DO the work in order for changes to be made.  Fun fact: you CAN do it - it just takes some strength and grace to muddle through. One other strength I am learning I have (yes I know it says ONE of your strengths...) is the strength to stand up for ME. For a long time, I would live my life based on what others wanted. Whatever anyone outside of me wanted, I gave them.  Now, after ...

Who doesn't love this time of year?  I mean really...  The stores are decorated, holiday music is playing, Thanksgiving dinner is coming...  Families are gathering together... It's a magical time of year. Families celebrating traditions that have been a part of their lives forever! It's just wonderful. I already touched on this in another post, but I will elaborate here. Growing up, the holidays always made me feel amazing. We were always spending time with both sets of grandparents, while holding our own traditions.  I always looked forward to Thanksgiving, because it meant family was coming over.  It meant spending time with family members I didn't always get to see often. It meant the house was going to smell the best smells. It meant Mom was baking up a storm!  It meant jammies after dinner and Christmas movies on the couch. Since my parents moved away, I have been going down for almost every Thanksgiving. There was one year they stayed up here, when I ...

  This is a tough question for me - as I often find that I am looking for what I don't like about myself than what I do like. I have always been like this - and after a few years in therapy and some self discovery, it is evident that it stems from being the overweight kid and not feeling good enough. After many years of self sabotage, toxic and negative relationships, and a ton of personal development, I like that I can accept myself for who I am right now. In this moment.  It's not exactly easy. Every day is a struggle to avoid falling back into bad habits and giving up on the work I've done so diligently in the last few years. I lost who I was because I was more worried about who liked me and if I fit into their world. When instead, I should have worried about who I was and if I fit in my own world.  We all know my hair is my pride and joy - it always has been. Getting my nails done every 2 weeks is something I love to do. My outward appearance is (normally) very import...

  Who doesn't have a laundry list of hard lessons they learned from? Or a list of things they don't talk about but learned EPIC lessons from?  Everyone has something monumental that changed their outlook on some aspect of their life - family, friends, relationships, love.. any of them. A hard lesson I am grateful to have learned was an ongoing one. One where I realized that not everyone in my life is going to cheer for me. Not everyone is going to understand why I do what I do. Not everyone is going to support my choices.  And that's okay!  See.. just because someone SAYS they support you, that they agree with you, they back you up does NOT mean they actually DO. What people say and do can sometimes be vastly different and as a result, true colors appear. I have had the hardest time understanding this - because I would never go back on my word, yet there are a lot of people in my life who have. I refused to see it for a long time.  It's 110% acceptable to not ag...

In terms of someone I am proud of - I can't pick just one person in my life. I am proud of all my friends and family for doing whatever they can to make themselves happy. To live their best lives. To stand up for what they believe is right.  To my friends who have birthed children - y'all are superheroes! You are now raising little humans - and doing a kick ass job. I love all my nieces and nephews - even though none of them are blood related.  To my friends who have started their own businesses - keep crushing! You are doing what is best for you and your family - and that's honestly all that matters. There will be haters - it just means you are doing something they wish they could do - and with flair!  To my friends who have battled things they don't talk about - I am so proud of you for getting up every day and starting fresh. I am proud of you for taking care of yourself, even if you aren't asking anyone for help. It's okay to ask for help, please know you do...

  I have a lot of unanswered prayers. I will say that this prompt made me think of Garth Brooks' song "Unanswered Prayers". Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers Remember when you're talkin' to the man upstairs That just because he doesn't answer doesn't mean he don't care Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers I pray all the time. Every day. Sometimes all day depending on what is going on. I can tell you that I prayed HARD all summer for an answer - and was gifted with the life I am currently living. What a blessing!  When it comes to unanswered prayers and what I am most grateful for - it is a toss up between the condo I hoped for this summer, and rekindling with one of the most toxic humans I ever met.  See, this summer was supposed to be THE summer I got my shit in order and bought a condo. I was saving as much as I could, and wanted to be a New Hampshire resident SO bad. I had been looking to live here long before Mike came...

  There's a lot to be grateful for in every day life.  For starters, we get to start a new day with a fresh slate.  I am grateful every single day for my family and friends. Without them I don't know if I would still be standing as strong as I am today.  For my relationship that has taught me more about myself than I ever thought possible. I never thought I would find someone who accepted me for who I am and loved me on days I need it a little extra. I always thought I was too much. God Bless Mike :)  For Kyrie. She may be 800 miles away and I may only see her on FaceTime most of the year, but she makes my heart soar. Her personality alone is a blessing. Never mind her world class snuggles when I see her around the holidays!  For my Shriners family. I was sort of dropped in this crew last year around Christmas time, and since then they have been the most supportive, understanding, all around caring group of people I have ever had the honor of being a part o...

Before I get into this post - I am so excited to share this is the 100th published post for Anything About Everything!!! Thank you so much for reading any post, and hopefully it speaks to you somehow. Thank you for giving me this platform to share life experiences - know that you are not alone! This has been such an incredible outlet for me - as I have always wanted to be a writer, and the love this blog has received over the last 3 years has been incredible! Thank you thank you thank you!!!!!! I cannot tell you the last time I sat down to read. I love to read - but with a busy busy schedule, a brain that does NOT shut off, and a guilt of just sitting around, I can't get into a good book right now.  I was reading "How To Do The Work" by Dr. Nicole LaPera before my brain started running 24/7. It was a great look at why we do what we do, and how to actually do the work to make changes in your life. If you've been following this blog for a while, you know how much I valu...

  I look forward to this time of year - every single year. I find it to be a warm, loving, happy time of year for me and my family. And that is worth looking forward to.  Our family has so many traditions during the holiday season. This year, however, is going to be more magical than most years. Kyle and I get to share our family traditions with our significant others this year! I have never been in a situation where I can share my family traditions with someone and they share theirs with me. Thanksgiving is hands down my favorite holiday. No gifts, just good food and family. Name a better holiday! The tradition of watching the parade is something I have never gone without. When we were in the high school marching band, we would often MISS the parade, but thanks to DVRs, we were able to catch it later that day. The smell of Grammy's stuffing cooking really hits me in the feels. I can't wait for all the delicious smells and memories in a few weeks! I am looking forward to shari...

  This is a tough one for me - because there are a LOT of songs or quotes that lift me up and make me smile. I am a walking juke box - it happens.  If I had to pick a quote that lifts me up and makes me smile? I would have to say the newest addition to my left arm. "Life is tough, but so are you." Having it in my parents' handwriting makes it all the more special. They have been so supportive and understanding through every up and down in my life. When I was struggling with the trauma and stress of this summer, they were quick to listen, and help calm me down. When I call crying because the wind blows the wrong way, they quickly remind me to shut up. Life is all about balance here!  Having this tattooed on my arm has been a wonderful reminder. I have an incredible group of friends (okay they're basically family..) who jumped to help anyway they could when everything went to hell this summer. Having them to lean on through it all is probably the only way I stayed semi...

Our apartment as a whole makes my heart so full. It is a perfect little first "home" for Mike and I. It's definitely smaller than what I lived in before, but I would absolutely classify this spot as cozy. It's just us, so it's not too cramped.  If I had to pick a space or a room in the apartment that makes me happy.. I would have to pick the kitchen. It's small, but probably the most beautiful part of the apartment. Mike and I cooking together in there makes me (most times) happy. As someone who cooked a lot before I moved in here (in any of my previous apartments), it's nice to share the responsibility. I have been demoted to sous chef, which is actually a blessing. I had a hard time with it at first, because I was so used to cooking. But it's not always a bad thing to let someone else step in and take over sometimes!  Our kitchen is the first room you walk into in the house. It's so warm and welcoming. When I was apartment hunting, I was getting ...