Day 30 - Describe the last time you truly felt at peace

 

August 15, 2021.

After the tumultuous summer I had the pleasure of suffering through, I finally picked up the keys to my new place. Lease was signed, and boxes started coming in. I had a place to call HOME. No more moving around every 10 or so days. No more life in storage, my car, whoever's home I was staying in, and scattered about the state. 

I had my final therapy session with my last therapist (she's not licensed in NH :( I am so sad) and she said something to me that I will never forget.. "When you get your keys, and you're alone, I want you to stand in the middle of the room and celebrate your win. YOU did this."

When my landlord left and it was just me in the apartment, I had a SOLID cry. 10 weeks of pent up emotions to just get through it had come bubbling up. I wasn't sad - I was relieved. FINALLY having a mailing address, FINALLY having one place to sleep in without packing it up. I managed to get myself through an incident that doesn't come with a manual, all by myself. Yes, I had friends and family supporting me - but no one was going to advocate for me. No one was going to make the calls for me. 

When I was handed the keys to the apartment Mike and I now call home - it was such a sense of relief and peace. The emotions and struggles I had all summer were mostly kept close to my chest. I felt so focused on getting myself in a permanent place, that nothing else was allowed to upset me. So I just kept pushing. 

Becoming a New Hampshire resident has been a great experience, and while there is some unfinished business back in Massachusetts, I am pretty pleased with life so far here.