Anything about Everything

  August 15, 2021. After the tumultuous summer I had the pleasure of suffering through, I finally picked up the keys to my new place. Lease was signed, and boxes started coming in. I had a place to call HOME. No more moving around every 10 or so days. No more life in storage, my car, whoever's home I was staying in, and scattered about the state.  I had my final therapy session with my last therapist (she's not licensed in NH :( I am so sad) and she said something to me that I will never forget.. "When you get your keys, and you're alone, I want you to stand in the middle of the room and celebrate your win. YOU did this." When my landlord left and it was just me in the apartment, I had a SOLID cry. 10 weeks of pent up emotions to just get through it had come bubbling up. I wasn't sad - I was relieved. FINALLY having a mailing address, FINALLY having one place to sleep in without packing it up. I managed to get myself through an incident that doesn't come w...

Day 19 of 30 Being open and transparent on this blog is something I hold in very high regard. It is not easy at times - I am putting my life on the internet and while that seems to be common these days among social media outlets, it's frightening. I open myself up to gossip and mocking, trash talk and judgement. Something I've learned in this personal development journey is that worrying what others will think of you or what they will say about you needs to disappear. Living life for others is a recipe for disaster.  Today's discussion circles around regret. I believe the day 19 topic read: Discuss your regrets in life.  I pride myself on not having regrets, ever. Every decision I make, I am sure to calculate the possible outcomes, and how the decision will effect my life. There are times I make decisions in an emotional moment, but I am sure not to regret anything. Everything, as cliche as it is, happens for a reason. Sometimes we don't know what that reason is...

This post is not a part of the 30 day challenge - but it IS a 30 day post.  30 days ago, I embarked on a new journey in my professional career. I took a chance on myself to improve my mental health, my professional mentality, and my overall view on life. For the last 3 and a half years, I was stuck in a mundane, depressive routine that was not allowing my personal growth to truly flourish. I was negative all the time, constantly crying, emotionally binge eating, and on what most call a downward spiral. I had no self confidence, couldn't care less how I presented myself to society, and honestly felt so alone and abandoned that I just stayed home in bed most weekends. I knew something had to change, and FAST. I am almost 30 for crying out loud, and I was stuck in this miserable cycle. I would spend 3 out of 5 nights a week sobbing on the phone to my mom, who at 800 miles away could do nothing but tell me it was all going to be alright, to keep fighting. Having fought for as l...