Anything about Everything

When I need to be alone, it's usually not because I need or want silence - it's because I need space to hear myself again. As someone who struggles with a short list of issues (anxiety, depression, eating disorder, burnout, undiagnosed ADHD.. to name a few), I am the poster child for needing a break. My mind runs at the speed of no less than 75 mph most days and I just need to quiet it. Find my center. Get myself organized and back into reality.  When this happens (at least a few days a week), I often just need to lay on the bed in silence or take a nap. It helps me shut off my brain and helps that I am resting, as by the end of the day, I am mentally and emotionally wiped out.  I will sometimes listen to a channel on SiriusXM or a playlist on Spotify that plays some variation of instrumental music and allow myself to get lost in the music. This truly helps me reset and feel refreshed.  I find this helps because I am able to disconnect from my stream of consciousness and ...

All four of my grandparents are gone now, which means I am left piecing together their stories through memories, photos, and the way they still show up in who I am. What they left behind with my parents, my brother, my cousins, and I are the memories we made while they were still here... and those are the most important to us. Looking at the lives they built for themselves (and together) is always so exciting for me. Learning about where I came from is so intriguing.. good thing I went to school for history!  Granddaddy  (Mom's dad) dedicated over 40 years of his life working for the gas company - first with Boston Gas and later with National Grid (when they bought them out). Yes - the gas tank in the harbor even displayed their logo - locals to the area will remember seeing Boston Gas and then later National Grid from the highway. His commitment and long service truly exemplified a hardworking drive that runs deep in our roots. Nana  (Mom's mom) originally from Nova Scot...

Music has always been one of the main ways I process things -- emotions, memories, hell even stress! I don't always know how i feel until a song puts words to it first. It's a universal language - connecting people from all walks of life in a vulnerable state, free of judgement. A little background on the choice this month: when I first heard about them and Mike was very much a fan, I could not stand them. Immediate station change. I'd mock them, make snarky comments - mostly because I didn't truly understand the magnitude of their lyrics.  The band, you ask? Sleep Token. I was not a fan - until their latest album release. Now? I am creeping back into their older stuff to truly see their growth and their depth.  The lyric I can't stop thinking about is one from the song that started it all for me - Emergence .  Godspeed to my enemies Who've been askin' for that call sign As someone who has been through her fair share of growth - honestly my whole life, but e...

After two years away from this space, I wanted to start with something simple: what actually  matters to me right now. Life happens, things change, but I was always thinking about what I could do to improve this space. All it took was scrolling Pinterest to find a February themed prompt list and I knew I could work my way back into using this space to share honest reviews, life experience (not that I have a lot of it), and what I can only describe as personal perspective.  Since taking a hiatus from the blog, I got married, became a cat mom, and truly started (continued?) working on stuff in therapy. Life looks a bit different now than it did when I started this blog 8 years ago.  I started this blog in the bedroom I was renting in a house with 2 other people as a way to share my experiences. I was VERY single (mentally dating Shaun White at the time.. yes, the red headed Olympian), starting at a new job, and filling my time with FRIENDS reruns or the newest Netflix relea...

 I went out to dinner with a couple of girlfriends last night and we had quite a few great conversations. Sometimes you just need to go out with some friends who accept you for who you are, without expectations, and just be present.  To set the scene here - all of us are mid 30s. Two of the 3 of us that were out are married, and I am on my way to the altar in just over 6 months (holy crap), and two of the three of us are also moms (spoiler alert: I am not a mom...yet).  Out of respect of my friends' privacy I am not going to use names. However, I am going to say that these two women have been through hell and back in their lives at one point or another - and I am inspired by them all the time.  One of the conversations that came up after dinner was one about identity.  Often times, as life ebbs and flows for us, we adjust to who we are. This is an ongoing adventure. However - YOU get to decide who you are, what you are going to do with your life, who you are goi...

  It's been a year since my life was completely turned upside down. 365 days since I experienced an attack by nature in what I thought was supposed to be my safe space.  Life has a wonderful way of putting you on the path you are meant to be on. There is no denying that - and I will die on that hill. After much reflection and healing, it’s time to talk some truth. I will be clear - this is not to put anything out in the world that wasn’t already there.  Healing can be messy. Healing can hurt while it is in process. Healing is not linear. Healing is not easy.  As just about every person in my life knows, last summer was a tumultuous one. I had plans - and God said “nah, this will be better.” Or so I choose to believe. To some, this may be seen as toxic positivity. Not the point, but there will always be people who see others’ healing as toxic positivity.  I didn’t believe it at the time, but now?  This is where I’m supposed to be.  I had a grand plan of...

Just like every year is different than the last (with exception of 2020 & 2021…), 2022 will be one for the books. I’m not claiming the “new year new me” bullshit.. new year, same me, just healing from stuff I experienced this year that has weighed heavily on my shoulders.  2022 will start without Betty White & that.. is just not right. I’m SO sad!  2022 will be VERY busy for Mike and I. That does not mean we are going to neglect any of our people or plans. It DOES mean that we need to make sure we are on top of things and keeping everything organized! Something I’m good at ☺️ 2022 will not allow any negative energies or accounts in my space. There is only room for communication and understanding. And HONEST conversation. No more assumptions.  2022 will bring new adventures and memories - and they will be better than 2021!