Anything about Everything

  For a long time, I thought gratitude meant being thankful for the big things. A good job, a happy marriage, a comfortable home, financial security, or accomplishing something I worked hard for.  In my old age, I am beginning to realize that gratitude is so much more than “the big things.” To me - gratitude is being able to recognize that life can be imperfect and still be beautiful. It’s appreciating what I have without pretending that I don’t want more. It’s being thankful for where I am while acknowledging that I’m still working toward where I want to be (not easy at ALL by the way). It’s understanding that I can have difficult days and still have a wonderful life. I can be (and am at times) frustrated with my circumstances and still recognize the blessing surrounding me.  I have been called toxicity positive many times - I have discussed it in depth on this blog more times than I should have needed to. But I am someone who is trying to continue to see the good i...

  If someone told me last November what my life would look like today, I am not entirely sure I would have believed them.  The past year has been full of changes (some expected and others completely catching me off guard). I have experienced professional changes, personal growth, heartbreak, new challenges, and moments that forced me to reconsider what I actually want out of life.  Three things in particular stand out to me… First (and this is big for a recovering people pleaser): I’ve learned that advocating for myself is not optional. Whether it’s in my career, my relationships, or my personal life - I deserve to have my voice heard. I don’t have to make myself smaller to make others feel comfortable.  Second: I’ve discovered that I am capable of navigating change - even when I don’t have it all figured out. Change is REAL uncomfortable. But staying somewhere simply because it’s familiar isn’t always the right choice.  Third: I’ve learned to appreciate the peo...

Have you ever had one of those days where you look at your life and think: “I need to change everything.” The job.  The routine.  The house.  The schedule.  The relationship. The goals.  The entire damn personality. And then you sleep for eight hours and suddenly you’re like… “Oh.” Maybe I didn’t need to blow up my entire life. Maybe I needed a nap. We’re so quick to assume that exhaustion means something is wrong. Sometimes it does.  But sometimes we’re simply tired. We’ve been doing too much. Carrying too much. Thinking too much. Giving too much. Expecting too much from ourselves. And eventually the brain starts whispering: “Perhaps we should simply move to a cabin in Vermont and never speak to anyone again.” I’ve been there.  Okay, maybe not the cabin.  But emotionally?  Absolutely. The problem is that exhaustion makes everything feel permanent.  A bad day feels like a bad life.  A frustrating week feels like a t...

There are certain things about adulthood that still feel like someone is going to come tap me on the shoulder and tell me I’m doing it wrong. For example: Going to bed at 8:30 p.m. and being genuinely excited about it. Canceling plans and feeling immediate relief. Getting excited about a new vacuum. Having a favorite burner on the stove. Buying storage containers for fun. Having a favorite grocery store. Being emotionally attached to a particular brand of paper towels. Saying “I have errands to run today” like that’s an exciting Saturday itinerary. And my personal favorite: Choosing not to leave the house because the weather is bad. When you’re younger, you’re like  “It’s raining! Let’s go somewhere!”  Now?  “It’s raining? Excellent. Nobody expects me to leave.”+ There is also something incredibly humbling about realizing that you can technically do whatever you want. Want ice cream for dinner?  Go for it. (my favorite dinner) Want to spend Saturday rea...

Every fall, the leaves remind us that some things are supposed to be released.  So I made a list. I’m leaving behind: The need to explain every decision I make. The belief that saying no makes me a bad person. The idea that everyone needs to understand me. Comparing my life to people who are living completely different lives. Feeling guilty for resting. Chasing people who aren’t meeting me halfway. Taking responsibility for things that aren’t mine. Overthinking conversations that happened three days ago. Trying to make everyone comfortable. And, perhaps most importantly… giving unlimited access to people who consistently make me question why I gave them access in the first place. I’m not saying I’m going to become a cold-hearted hermit who communicates exclusively through aggressive eye contact. Although… tempting. 😂 I’m saying I’m learning that letting go doesn’t always mean you’re angry. Sometimes it means you’ve finally realized something isn’t good for you any...

We’re always waiting for something… Friday . Vacation . The weekend. The next paycheck . The next promotion . The next relationship milestone . The next chapter . The next version of ourselves . We’re constantly looking ahead. And sometimes I wonder how much of our actual lives we’re missing because we’re so busy waiting for the next thing to happen. Fall has a funny way of making me think about that. The world slows down. The days get quieter. The trees put on their ridiculous little fashion show and then drop everything they’ve been holding onto. No rushing. No panic. No five-year plan. Just change. And maybe we could use a little more of that. Maybe this season doesn’t need to be about accomplishing everything. Maybe it can be about noticing something. The way the morning air feels different. The smell of coffee. A favorite sweatshirt. A good book. A conversation that makes you laugh until your stomach hurts. The first really cold night when you realize yo...