Take a picture, it will last longer

 I wish I took more pictures this year. I say this every year, and someday, I won't miss opportunities. 

My entire life, I have struggled with my weight. I am so unhappy with myself now, that I hardly take any pictures. We are our own worst critics, and I know that. Coming from a place where I was in excellent shape (I had motive...), I am disappointed. So I hardly take pictures anymore. When I do take them, I make sure its only a head shot, not a full body shot - and I need to find the best angle. 

The disappointment comes from a few places. 1. Letting my hard work go down the toilet. 2. Allowing myself to get this far gone without much consequence. 

As someone who is all about body positivity, I should really reap what I sow. Unfortunately, my weight has been an issue for me my whole life, and while I have worked through some of it in therapy in the past, it is a hard road. I know that my family and (true) friends don't give two sharts about what size I am. But I need to be comfortable in my own skin too.  

I do have a plan to get myself back on track, and as soon as the money tree is planted I should be good to go! Trusting someone outside my immediate circle of people to monitor my nutrition and write my workouts while coaching me through it all is what I need. So that is the ultimate plan. I am very much looking forward to relearning the discipline I had, all while enjoying my life. A shift in my lifestyle and schedule will be amazing! 

So yes, I wish I took more pictures this year. I feel that Mike and I don't have enough of them together, yet I have pictures of everyone else (mostly Kyrie.. if I am being honest). My hope next year is to love myself along the way, through the next journey, and see how many pictures I take!