Life is tough, but so are you
The world is still on fire - with no end in sight. Everyone is at odds with each other because the wind blew the wrong way. We have been told to basically stay home for the last 2 years, with little hope of change. Every time we turn on the news, something disgusting has happened. There's hardly any GOOD news anymore put out by mainstream media.
Being 'homeless' all summer did a number on my mental health this year. I am, and will always be, forever grateful for the friends that let me live with them during the entire fiasco. I was navigating an incident that didn't have a handbook, alone. No one else was going to call my insurance company. No one else was going to start looking for a place for me. I needed to figure out how I was going to keep going while being so deep in a depressed state that I wasn't sure how I would come out of it. I cried when I was alone - because I didn't want to burden anyone, and really couldn't pinpoint WHAT was making me cry. Those 10 and a half weeks were transformative but at the same time, not all that great in my brain.
Working from home is tough for me - in that I can only do it for a short period of time. Before the pandemic, I always looked forward to my two days a week at home. Having the daily routine, leaving the house.. those were the days. I have a hard time being stuck at home every day - even with my gym trips or lunch dates with friends. I need routine and human interaction. I am an introverted extrovert - I love my alone time but also enjoy being around people. It's a weird line.
Work really screwed with my mental health this summer too. I can't get into too much detail, but will say that I was harassed and bullied for 2 and a half months by a superior. It started at the end of July while I was without a home. He was finally removed as my supervisor mid September. There are still some residual issues, so those come into play every once in a while and it causes me to spiral.
In the past year, my support system has grown and thinned out all at the same time. Being a part of Shrine, I have gained a second family. They are willing to help at a moment's notice, and never judge. This has certainly helped my mental health! In the last year and a half? I've lost friends I swore I never would. The pandemic changed a lot of us and while we are all doing the best we can, sometimes that means we need to let people go. I never wish ill will on anyone, and truly hope that everyone in this world finds peace and what makes THEM happy.
Sure, I have tools to help me manage when I am having terrible days. Yes, my family and friends are always helpful to get me out of my funk. But why avoid how I am feeling? Sometimes you have to sit in the suck. Embrace it. Feel it. Acknowledge it. Then let it go. Why am I feeling this way? What spurred this? How can I make sure the next time I don't get so triggered?
I drove by the old house this past weekend, to see if anything had started yet. The exterior looks the same, there's just a dumpster in the driveway where I used to park. It broke my heart to see it still patched up - I used to get a rush of excitement when I would pull around the corner to that house.
Then it got me thinking...
Just because something looks the same on the outside as it did the last time you saw it (let's say a person), doesn't mean that things aren't going on inside. Think about it. If you see someone always smiling and joking - you have no idea what's going on in their head. Unless you talk to them.
Instead of trying to figure out what someone is going through or how they are, try asking them. And when they answer? LISTEN. Don't offer advice, just listen to them. If they want advice, they will ask for it. If they don't, they won't. Unsolicited advice can also be a trigger for a lot of people - so let's try and stop it. We learn a lot when we listen without agenda. Try it - and a lot of questions you have may get answered without you even realizing it!
If you or someone you know is struggling (spoiler alert.. we all are) - the best thing you can do is listen to them - or find someone to listen to you. Sometimes, we just need to be heard. As always, I am happy to listen.
Just remember - life is tough, but so are you.
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