"There's always a way to turn things around!" - Joy

Quarantine has certainly brought out my creative side. For starters, I am more inspired to produce content for this bad boy now than when it started. This blog was born as a way for me to share my experiences and views on things, so that people didn't feel as though they were alone in the world, and if anything posted here resonates with just one person? My work is done for today! 

That being said.. I have started some new morning routines for myself now that I have the gift of time. Every morning starts with washing my face then mixing up some caffeine to kick start my morning. Once I have logged on to work, I start my Daily Wellness playlist on Spotify. It is a playlist updated daily with a mix of affirmations, guided breathing, music based on your taste, and daily quotes. I used to be one of those people who thought self care was all about getting my hair and nails done and calling it a day. And while those activities are CERTAINLY part of my self care routine, taking care of my mental health has become a nonnegotiable in my daily routine. 

On Monday, the daily quote portion of the playlist started and essentially inspired this post. 

"Crying helps me slow down and obsess over the weight of life's problems." - Sadness, Inside Out (Disney/Pixar)

If you are familiar with Inside Out at all - you know that it's a gut wrenching, honest, raw portrayal of what goes on in a child's head when they are removed from an environment they know and trust and quite literally moved into a new space. 

This, my friends, is essentially what happened to us 9 weeks ago. Life was going on just fine, then what feels like overnight was uprooted and into a new space that none of us are really sure how to navigate. Insert the Sadness meme of her just sobbing. While listening to this 3 minute bit on the playlist, they brought up some excellent points that I want to share - because damn, it fits in perfectly with what we are facing right now.

 

All emotions are valid. Please read that again, and again, until you understand it. Our emotions make up who we are. They are the lifeblood of our personalities and how we handle the things thrown at us. Some of us have a stronger emotional bank that allows us to navigate the unknown with what may look like grace, but actually anxiety and fear. Some of us cannot get out of our own way and end up miserable 24/7 because we refuse to see the good in all this. Some of us thrive on fear, so we are living through this quarantine riding on an adrenaline high. Some of us are numb to the world because of things that have happened to us, and are just riding the wave. Some of us look at this time as a gift we never asked for, to allow for a chance to reset or get to the things around the house we've been meaning to get to. 

Slowing down to obsess over the difficulties we are currently facing can feel indulgent, but allowing grief to wash over us can act as a cleansing wave. I am paraphrasing from the episode, but the point is the same. We are ultimately grieving our old lives. The ones that allowed us to go out to dinner, see friend and family closer than 6 ft apart, enjoy concerts and going to the movies. The lives where we didn't have to wear masks to go out in public or wait to go into the grocery store. The lives where we could move freely about our lives and not feel judgement from those in our lives.  

We all grieve differently - that is for sure. Some of us have to talk to someone professionally to process it (10/10 would recommend to a friend! so worth it). Some of us have to blog about it (hi.. also me). Some of us hold it in and refuse to acknowledge it. Some of us use other outlets to process it. However you process your grief, whatever works for you, keep doing it. If something isn't working for you, find something that will. We live in a society that says it wants to end the stigma around mental health, yet crucifies us for wanting to get help. Here's the deal - your mental health is YOUR business. Not the world's. How you handle it is your business. If you feel like talking to those closest to you about it, then do it. If you don't have a supportive circle, I am always happy to listen. I will say that I recommend talking to a medical professional about it, because it really adjusts your view and thought process (as long as you are honest AF. It doesn't work if you're not honest). 

If you are struggling through this time, please know you are not alone. Every single person is struggling in some form or another and whether or not they talk about it, they're struggling. Speaking from personal experience, I will put on a brave face when those close to me are hurting because I want to protect them and take care of them (its a Type 6 quality... if you don't know what the enneagram is.. I'll do a whole post on it). When I am alone, I am more likely to cry or let my emotions out. It's not that I find it so much a weakness for me to show how I feel around others, but that I would rather care for others than myself (again, working on it... it's a process to undo something you've done your whole life!). By putting on this brave face, I am actually hurting myself. I am not signaling to my friends and family that I need some support, that I am suffering, that I need some guidance. Instead, I am trying to navigate how they are feeling and find a solution to their problem without addressing mine. 

When we show our true feelings/emotions, we let those around us know that we are in need. That we aren't doing that great and could really use a shoulder to cry on or an ear to listen. If we never allow ourselves to show how we actually feel, especially when it's sadness (or however we are feeling after 9 weeks at home), we will never find our way back to Joy. 

The world is not going to be the same way it was 9 weeks ago. It won't be the same way it was 6 months ago. Our new normal will be an adjustment. There is nothing we can do about it - this is everyone's health and safety we are talking about. Living a life of compassion requires us to step outside of ourselves and respect those around us. Yes, there is some anxiety around where the world will be in two weeks, just like there was two weeks ago and two weeks before that. But where there isn't a single thing we can do to change the current state of things (unless you're testing for a vaccine in your basement.. in which case bring it!), we need to accept that this is how life is in this moment. We need to find things that bring us joy, that calm our fears. Watching your favorite TV show or movie over and over, reading a book or 12, listening to music, having mini dance parties throughout the day, journaling to process how you feel - however you can spark joy in your heart, please do it. Please don't let this pandemic remove the happiness in your heart. Losing who we are while we have all this time to circle back to who we really are would be a tragedy.  

You are going to come out of this quarantine better than you went in - if you commit to processing your feelings. It's scary, hard even, to acknowledge what is deep inside your brain and causing you to think certain ways. But the process only works if you do. And if you need to cry, cry. Slow down and process the problems in front of you and work through them, rather than ignoring them or hoping someone else will do it for you. If you have not seen Inside Out, please go to Disney Plus this weekend and watch it. It will certainly change how you view processing your emotions and what triggers them. I could go on about emotional triggers, but that will be saved for another day. 

In Anything About Everything fashion, I close this with a challenge. I challenge you to try a new way to process your feelings. Is it researching prompts on Pinterest to help you write? Is it talking to friends? A loved one? A medical professional? Is it journaling? Is it starting a vlog or a blog? Is it taking a break from socials and spending more time outside? However you want to process, find a new innovative way to do so. Try looking at this situation differently after you've processed how you are feeling. What do you notice?