Ain't It Funny How Life Changes?

Before I decided to grab hold of my life and find happiness every day (harder on some days, easier on others!), I was not one to sit and relax. I felt like I was constantly being watched, feeling VERY unsettled. I felt like work was the only thing that would make me happy, so I busted my butt to stay running in the same circle. I felt like I had to conform to whatever everyone else was doing so I could fit in. I wanted to be included in everything all the time. 

When the scenery changed, so did my view of everything I thought was true. 

I no longer needed to conform to what others wanted, I no longer needed to stifle my likes and favorite things for fear of competition with "friends." I was no longer working myself into a tightly wound stress ball, yet I was (am) making more money and leaving work feeling so much less stressed. 

I am so grateful for the opportunity I was given, even though it's not even remotely in either field I have my degrees in. Eventually, I would love to see myself using the "administration and leadership" portion of my master's degree, but everything happens in due time. 

I was always the girl counting down to my next vacation or the next exciting event in my life. I was the girl who sat in her own misery and expected everyone else to pull me out of it. 


Update: YOU create your own happiness. YOU decide how life goes. 


We've touched on this before, but it's worth discussing again. There are 3 months left of 2018. What are you going to do to make it amazing? What are you going to do to make the next 3 months the best? What will you change in order to be truly happy? I'm not talking posting crap all over social media to LOOK like your life is amazing. I am talking about actually making the effort every single day to make your life your best yet. 

Last month, I started using the 5 Minute Journal. This has been an incredibly helpful tool in my journey to finding true inner peace and happiness. It's forcing me to take a serious look at my life & be grateful EVERY day. I was a very flaky journal keeper previously. I would write in it for a few days then fall off. This brief little journal helps keep me focused on ONLY the good things and project positivity. 

On top of that, I started reading Girl Wash Your Face by Rachel Hollis. In recent years I have started swapping out my chick flick books for personal development books. I would rather find some amazing life advice tucked in between the pages that will help me grow than read through the newest Nicholas Sparks book. This is not to say that I don't LOVE a good Sparks book - because I will be the first to pick up his stuff - but I am learning that I gain more from personal development than I do a novel. So I am trying to alternate - every other book I read is personal development, all others are great novels! 


Life is about balance too. Spreading ourselves too think to make everyone around us happy without checking on ourselves is a surefire way to end up exhausted emotionally and physically. Saying no is okay. Let me repeat that for the people in the back: SAYING NO IS OKAY. Oh, and don't feel the need to give a reason. That's just sheer nonsense. Stand firm in who you are, stand up for what you believe in, and for the love of all that's good - surround yourself with people who will lift you up, who are positive, and who want to see you succeed. Being around people who have no desire to change their negative behavior, who blame everyone else for their issues, and who can't be supportive of you is toxic and unhealthy. Find a better core group. Yes, it'll feel like you're lost for a bit, but those that are supporting you will be 100% behind you. 


A year ago, I was stuck in this awful rut, surrounding myself with people who gossiped and spread negativity like wildfire, and had no desire to be better. I was stuck in this place where my feelings didn't matter, I was unable to be myself, and I wasn't looking to the future. I was also battling some serious grief that I refused to confront and accept, which was a large part of my journey. I was using food as a crutch to keep me happy, only temporarily. I was finding every excuse in the book to avoid addressing everything in my life just to stay where I was comfortable. 

Fast forward a year, and I am healing at a snails pace. I have taken some steps to start self healing, I have looked at those I surround myself with, and I have let go of some serious baggage. I'm not even close to where I need to be, but I am making DAMN sure that I am loving myself where I am at right now - and looking to the future. With every new month comes a new refreshing outlook for me. This month, my goal is to get back on track with my eating (no more emotional eating!) as well as find a reputable therapist. Having an outside party look at my life with no emotional connection, who can dig deeper into what's bothering me on the daily - that's what I need right now. 

Life has a funny way of changing when you decide to take baby steps. When you decide to grab it by the reins and muddle through the mess, you start to see things in a different light.