Anything about Everything

Hello there!  I apologize for my lack of attention to this blog lately. I decided to make September a month of growth and change, and it has been a rather bumpy ride. Anything worth doing/having wouldn't be easy, right?  For the last 8 months, I have been trying to get into a healthier mindset and head space that allow for complete and honest transformation. I had such a terrible 2017, that I wanted to make 2018 a million times better. I was in a dark place (as mentioned in a few posts) for so long, that seeing life in the light has been a bit terrifying. The dark place was where I felt most comfortable. I could be miserable and no one would judge me - just who I was. I decided to shake off the dark place and find a spot in the warm light. I was afraid to commit to any sort of growth because it meant leaving my comfort zone.   I was sick and tired of being blamed for other peoples misery, negativity, and overall bad energy. Sure, I had my own issues to deal w...

We have touched upon it before, but self awareness has been a topic that not many want to address. It's scary to take a serious look into who you are, what triggers you, what brings you the utmost joy, and what you need to adjust because it's not working with the rest of your world. It's hard, because it's a journey that you need to take alone - no one can tell you what you need to address to make the positive changes - they aren't you. YOU know what YOU need to do in order to make changes, it just comes down to biting the bullet and doing it.  I get it - it's freaking terrifying. Sitting alone with yourself, a journal, a pen, and your thoughts - super scary regardless if you've done it a hundred times, or never.  Some helpful hints for you to get started (or restart if you need the reset!): What has happened in my life that prevents me from accepting positivity and happiness in my heart?  When did this happen?  Why did it happen? What can I chan...

Sometimes in life, you just need to take a step back and reset. Disconnect from the world and get yourself back to a good space, mentally and emotionally. The last week and a half has been just that for me -  a reset and reflect chapter in my story.  I have touched upon this before in previous posts, but anxiety and depression are a part of who I am now. I do not like either of them, and try my best to push through those rough days when all the thoughts take over. In an effort to share my experience, I decided to do a little bit of an experiment surrounding possible triggers - and let me just say I SHOULD HAVE DONE THIS MONTHS AGO!  When I told my close friends and family that I was planning to shut down my social media accounts for a weekish, not ONE person in that group questioned my decision. This, in turn, helped me make the decision to just shut them down. They all supported my reasons (more to come), and applauded me for making the choice. It's hard to cut so...

For most of the country, today is a day for BBQs and family gatherings. It's the day we close out summer and prepare for the next season - Fall!  Today is that day for me too, but it's being celebrated with an asterisk. Today would have been Garrett's 33rd birthday. We talked over the summer about how we weren't going to wait till Labor Day to hang out, and how grateful we were for each other after all this time. Today, I remember the amazing friend I was blessed with for 15 years. The friend who never judged, never mocked, and never made me feel like I was beneath him. The friend who, while we didn't talk every day, respected our friendship and never lied to me.  Since Garrett passed, I have tried my hardest to reconnect with friends I lost touch with over the years. I have been more in tune with how I react to things, how I interact with people. I try to enjoy more in every day - and just go with the flow. I am trying to let things roll off my chest easier, a...