Are You Happy?

But seriously... are you? 

A lot of time and energy has gone into avoiding that question in my life over the last few years. How can I be happy when I worked a job that did NOT fill any sort of bucket in my life? I was surrounded by some of the most negative people in my social circle. I know it's been discussed in past posts - taking that leap of faith into a better life is part of the reason I'm as happy as I am now. 

But the reality is this: there's more to life than work. 

Being happy all the time requires effort. If you can't see past the negative in your life, you're bound to stay where you're at forever. You have to WANT deep down in your gut, to be happy all the time. 

It's hard. 

The last few months have been incredible months of growth for me. But I have also had to battle some serious external issues that have led to binge eating (yep, I have that issue.. also working to fix it), stress induced stomach issues, and self doubt. I was letting outside sources dictate how I felt about the situation, and allowed them to take over my life. 

Then I woke up. 

I am in control of my life. I decide what happens on my journey, I decide who I associate with, I decide how I feel. 

We are all fighting our own battles, no one is perfect and no one has it easy. 

Some of our disappointments and sadness are our own doing. Yep, you read that right. We put ourselves in situations willingly. Whether an outside source helped or we saw it as an easy solution to an ongoing problem - we put ourselves in the situation and we are to blame for our feeling of defeat. 


What the hell are you talking about, girl? 

I am talking about using your brain when it comes to life decisions. Here are some questions to ask yourself when you're making choices:

• Is it safe?
• What will this produce for me long term?
• Am I going to be happy doing it? 
• What are the negative effects of this choice on my life? Are they worth the hassle?

If you are in a situation that NO LONGER adds value to your life - pick yourself up and get the hell out of it. This includes but is not limited to: relationships (romantic or otherwise), jobs, gym memberships.. the list goes on. 

Staying in a situation that is causing you to hate your life, without making a single change, negates your ability to take to social media or group chats and whine about it. If you are not going to take the necessary steps to get yourself in a better place (mentally, financially, what have you), don't complain about it. You're allowing yourself to stay in the negative cycle. 



BREAK THE DAMN CYCLE!

YOU, friend, have the power to impact your own life in infinite ways. You need to find what brings you the most happiness, what gets you up in the morning, and pursue it. As someone who was stuck in a cycle for the better part of 3 years, I can tell you that there IS light at the end of the tunnel, there IS something out there for you to truly enjoy every day - you just have to take risks. It's scary, sure. But after you navigate the scary part, the end result is well worth it. 

One of my very best friends jokes all the time that she is my life coach. I turn to her when I need advice, a slap back to reality, or a better understanding of what I am about to get myself into. She never complains about having to give me life advice, and is one of THE MOST graceful people I have ever met. I would be so unbelievably lost without her in my life. One of the best parts of our friendship? She doesn't judge me - ever. 

This is SO important when it comes to your group of friends. If they talk about you when you're not there, judge every life choice you make, and make you feel like you can't be yourself around them - NOT YOUR FRIENDS. We all have weird quirks, triggers that make us tick, and different views on life. If the people you surround yourself with do not accept you for who you are - get out. Make the change. 



Real Talk...

True, honest to goodness happiness starts with Y.O.U. YOU need to be happy with your life, YOU need to WANT to be happy in order to see it come to fruition in your life. No one is going to do it for you. If you find that you're struggling to get out of bed everyday to go to a job that isn't fulfilling you, if you find you're CONSTANTLY negative in conversation and social media posts, if you find that you have no desire to do the things you used to do - it's really time to adjust yourself: your mindset, your outlook, your belief in yourself. 

It's sad, really, to see people I used to associate myself with with no belief in themselves, no self worth. They look for someone else to make them happy. They jump relationship to relationship to find what they think is happiness. The fact of the matter is this: no relationship is going to make you TRULY happy until you fix the relationship with yourself. Stop looking for everyone else to take care of you. Disconnect from social media, remove the negative energy suckers from your life, and LIVE your life. Stop expecting everyone to do things for you. Go after what you want in life FOR YOU first, then add another layer. 




I challenge you (yes this is coming back now) to analyze your life. Write it down - what makes you happy, what makes you meh, what makes you sad. After you look at this written down in front of you, pick 2 things from your last 2 columns and adjust your mindset. How can I fix these things so they sit in the happy column? What do I need to do? 

Embrace this crazy ride we call life. We only get one.