Throwback Thursday

Day 17 of 30

It's funny that today's topic is highs and lows of the last year. 

When I was a Resident Assistant my sophomore and junior year of college, our weekly staff meetings usually started with highs and lows of the week. Usually, the staff meetings were held on Thursday evenings, so this is just adorable.

The last 365 days (May 17, 2017 to May 18, 2018) have been full of growth (both personal and professional), life changes, loss, victories, and dreaming one size too big. 

2017 was a really REALLY weird year for my family. As I have discussed in the past, we lost 3 family members on the same side of the family within 6 months of each other. Having experienced something so earth shattering certainly put a damper on the year. But it also helped in relationship growth within the family and with close friends. We learned a lot about each other as a family unit, shared so many wonderful stories about my grandparents and my uncle, and truly made the best of a really sucky time. We also recognized who was always standing there waiting to hug us and tell us it would be okay - outside the family. If it was not for the support of the people that showed up to the wakes and funerals, and those that loved us from afar when they couldn't make the services - I know I wouldn't have made it through the transition back into normal life. 

Over the summer Mom & Dad came up to New Hampshire and camped for the week of the Fourth of July. This ended up being some much needed downtime, surrounded by incredible friends and more family time. There's something so relaxing about spending time together in nature, around a campfire making s'mores. Not to mention laughing at ridiculous jokes and drinking a few good beverages. I also managed to get to Fenway that week to see Florida Georgia Line & the Backstreet Boys with one of my best friends - SO FUN!! 

That week wasn't full of fun and games, unfortunately. My sweet car decided it was her time to crap out. I'd only had her for 3 years! Fiona was a 7 year old Mazda CX-7 with under 94,000 miles on her.. the engine died, and I had to make a decision. I ended up getting a new car which was exciting, but way too premature. I loved my Fiona! That really knocked the wind out of me last year, because I wasn't ready to give her up. 

I drove to North Carolina in August, a month after I got my new car and it was an amazing solo trip. I got to my parents' house after getting lost in Pennsylvania (so scary) and spent the weekend with them. It was a much needed visit as we had just lost my uncle the week before and truth be told - I wanted to be there for my mom. Not that Dad wasn't, I just wanted to have extra hands on deck! My ride home was long, but I still managed to get home with sunlight to spare. 

The fall was sort of busy with work, plus moving into a new place, plus trying to get the holidays sorted out so I could travel. Flew down to see my parents in November for Thanksgiving then came home and the following 3 weeks were a blur. I did get the opportunity to be a bridesmaid for one of my dearest friends, the first weekend of December last year, and what an honor that was! Such an amazing night - and I am so truly happy that she has found her prince. 

I somehow managed to end up with a serious case of exhaustion, that borderline knocked me on my butt two days before Christmas. I should mention that my brother and I were driving down to North Carolina for the holiday.. the ride down was miserable. It was raw, rainy, and I hadn't slept more than 3 hours a night that week. By the time we got to my parents I said my hellos and went right to bed. The rest of the week was spent relaxing and recuperating. 

The year started pretty quiet - externally. Internally I had found myself down such a dark hole that the light at the end of the tunnel seemed to be a pinhole. I had lost myself in a deep, dark misery that consumed me every hour of every day. I was dreading the alarm in the morning, and looking forward to quitting time. I was counting the seconds until I could walk out the door for the weekend, because I was so miserable. I was not seeing growth after working hard for the last 5 years, and wanted more out of my day. 

When I was presented with the opportunity to move to a totally different field, in a brand new environment, for a poo load more money per year, I was so excited. I was panicking, because I had dreamed of a brighter future for so long, but wasn't mentally prepared for the jump. But I had to do something for myself - to start to rebuild who I was. So I took it. I'd say this was the biggest high point in the last year. 

I learned a lot over the last 8 weeks, since taking this job, both professionally (brain could explode at any moment I have so much new info!) and personally. I am learning how to grow in a team environment, how to let petty drama and nonsense roll off, and how to really focus on what matters most. I am learning to relax, to keep my stress level low, and to really enjoy the life I live. I am picking up the broken pieces of myself and deciding if I need to keep them or toss them - to make room for new ones. I am learning that not everyone is nice, even though they may present themselves as such, and that's OKAY. 

The last 365 days have taught me a lot about myself: what I want out of life, what I want in a guy, what I want in a group of friends, what I want at work, what I don't want in a group of friends, what I want to do in the next year, 5 years. I have learned how grief effects me, how it effects my family, how to make my mom laugh when she needs it most. 

Take a look at the last year of your life. What are your highs and lows? How have they helped shape you into who you are? What needs to change? 

Go get em.