Rewriting the Reflex

 I’m unlearning the need to make everyone comfortable.

Recovering people-pleaser feels accurate… 

For a long time, I thought keeping the peace meant being good.

Being agreeable meant being kind.

Anticipating everyone else’s needs meant I was strong.

What it actually meant was I was exhausted.

I’m unlearning the reflex to over-explain.

To soften my no.

To cushion my boundaries so no one feels anything sharp.

I’m unlearning the habit of jumping to conclusions.

Assuming tone.

Reading into pauses.

Filling in blanks with worst-case scenarios.

I used to think awareness meant scanning for danger.

Now I’m learning that peace sometimes means taking things at face value.

Not every delayed text is rejection.

Not every shift in energy is about me.

Not every silence needs a story attached to it.

I’m unlearning the urge to fix things immediately.

Not every discomfort requires intervention.

Not every tension requires me to solve it.

I’m unlearning urgency.

And I’m replacing it with steadiness.

The kind that trusts what’s real.

The kind that lets people show up consistently instead of testing them.

The kind that doesn’t need to be chosen by everyone to feel secure.

Growth, for me, hasn’t been about becoming louder.

It’s been about becoming calmer.

Less reactive.

Less interpretive.

Less eager to smooth everything over.

More rooted.

I don’t get it right every time.

But I notice it now.

And that awareness?

That’s progress.