XoXo, Gossip Girl

I read a quote the other day that has resonated with me for a few days now.

We live in such a fast paced, need to know immediately world. We demand instant gratification, it's a competition between "friends" to find out information before the other, it's shooting others down when you already know something. This is not healthy for anyone, nor should anyone be upset when they learn things after others. Everything happens the way it's supposed to. 

Most recently, I was privy to some information that has not been made public yet. Out of respect for the request to not share it, and the SIMPLE fact that it's not my news to share, I am not putting it out there. Not my news to tell - nor is it acceptable to spread other people's news. This becomes gossip, surrounded by speculation, and not the full truth. NOT OKAY.

I used to be surrounded by people who had to know information before anyone else around them, so they could be the ones to tell it. OR they would find things out and have to share it immediately because they wanted to talk about it with others (and newsflash: it wasn't their news to share. every time.). I used to thrive off that - because it made me feel so important - I had information and needed to let everyone know that I knew something they didn't.

Then I got a reality check. Twice.

I had started to spend time with a boy (not a man, he was a boy. a boy in a man's body) who I'd known for a long time. I was so excited, I shared the information with someone close to me. The day after I shared it, I was told by SOMEONE ELSE that the boy wasn't exactly a great fit for me, in their opinion. I hadn't said a word to them about him - how did they know? Someone opened their mouth, but I shrugged it off.

Then, I made the decision to flip my world on it's head, and before it was public knowledge, someone I hardly spoke to knew every detail of my next chapter - down to the specifics. I was horrified, angry, and beyond furious that my personal life was the subject of conversation among people I didn't know all that well or trust. 

It was after the second instance that I decided to no longer take part in any conversations regarding news. If the person that told me things wanted it shared, they would do it on their own terms. It does not mean that they are keeping a secret - IT'S THEIR LIFE!!! Instant gratification and feeling superior to others only gets you so far in life. In that it doesn't - and you should probably cut the gossiping & "information sharing." 

We are not always going to agree with everything people do in their lives, but it's THEIR life not ours, so maybe, in an effort to make the world a better/more positive place, you don't gossip or get jealous when information is shared when it is? Maybe? I have removed myself from many friendships over the years (a lot more lately, but you live and you learn) because these people got their daily high off gossiping about others, and information that wasn't their's to share. 

Here's the deal: If someone tells you something in confidence, don't run to the closest person and share it. Let them tell who they want to, as the information is impacting THEIR life, not yours (directly). Support your friends and family in whatever it is they're doing, and keep your gossip to yourself. Write it down in a journal if it bothers you so bad, and never let that see the light of day. 

Just love people where they're at.